Officially Old: Arguing over Music in the Mini-van

Have you ever been just driving along in your car, not thinking much of anything, just going about your day, when all of the sudden the radio begins to play one epic song after another? It’s glorious right? Like a gift from the Gods.

Well, that happened to me yesterday morning on my second trip to the hardware store to return a portion of my Christmas lights (I went 4 times! But that’s another story). There was just one little problem.

I had my kids in the car.

This is my non-official transcript of the drive.

Scene: I had just flipped stations, and what do I hear? A flute? The gently strumming of a guitar…it couldn’t be…could it?

Me: Oh! Everyone stop talking immediately. It’s Fernando!

7 year old: Who’s Fernando?

9 year old (with audible eye roll – seriously, I can hear it): Here we go.

Me: Who’s Fernando? Who’s Fernando! I have obviously failed you in your music edu–(I had to cut myself off to sing obviously)

Mere seconds pass.

7 year old: You still haven’t told me who Fernando is.

Me: Can’t talk. Singing.

7 year old: Seriously, who is Fernando?

9 year old: Her boyfriend. D’uh.

Me: It’s not just about a boyfriend. It’s —  (Chorus starts – obviously needing my accompaniment).

3 year old: Too loud!

Me: Sorry baby. I turn it down – one click

Song ends. Then to the joy of my young 80’s soul, this comes on (WARNING: This video may give you nightmares):

Thirty seconds of blissful uninterrupted singing on my part pass. Then:

7 year old: I don’t understand this song at all.

Me: You don’t have to understand it. Just feel the mus–(Chorus comes on.)

9 year old: Do you have to make that face when you sing?

Me: Yes, otherwise my clenched fist in the air would look weird.

3 year old: Too loud!

Me: Sorry, baby.

9 year old: Can we please listen to something from this decade?

Me (grumbling flips stations): Oh my God! I can’t believe this! Seriously, everybody stop talking! Mommy loves this song.

9 year old: You love every song.

Me: Every awesome song.

7 year old: I don’t understand any of these.

Me (talking hurriedly so as not to miss my singalong with the falsetto): It’s about a young man feeling like he’s a creep and a weirdo and not worthy of a beautiful girl – you know, kind of like Phantom of the Opera.

7 year old: I understood maybe half of the words you just said.

9 year old: Could we listen to something that isn’t miserable?

Me: It’s not…okay it kind of is…aaand I missed the falsetto.

7 year old: What’s a falsetto???

At this point, I grab the iPod. I know what they want to hear.

It’s what they always want to hear…

3 year old: Turn it up.


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